A news story came out recently that caught my eye. “Major study finds children of single parents suffer more serious psychological problems” was the headline. Immediately I thought of all the single parents that I have worked with and known, and how devastating that headline would look to them.For most it would be like getting half way up a huge mountain and having someone push them off a ledge.
The gist of the study was that “The scientists found that children with single parents were twice as likely as the others to develop a psychiatric illness such as severe depression or schizophrenia, to kill themselves or attempt suicide, and to develop an alcohol-related disease.”
“Studies” are an interesting phenomena in themselves.Studies focus on trends and percentages of a group.Studies give us a perspective that Read the rest of this entry »
We all struggle in our relationships from time to time and especially with our teens. Regardless of our backgrounds or experience, we just don’t fit together like puzzle pieces. However, getting through these tough times quickly, successfully, and as unscathed as possible depends a lot on perspective. And I believe that there are three paradigms that are essential to understand and put into practice in order to have long-term relationship success.
The first thing to understand is that the quality of our relationships directly impacts the quality of our lives.It is a truth that cannot be ignored, thus the conclusion that one must come to is, “If I want to have a good life, I will start with making my relationships excellent.”
Even though hard times come, the quality of our relationships have a tendency to shore us up. Read the rest of this entry »
Awhile back I had the opportunity to take a couple of golf lessons.Now understand, my abilities at golf are limited at best so I looked at this opportunity to raise my game to the next level. Thinking I was going to show up to the first lesson and swing away while the instructor tweaked things here and there, I was a little surprised that we did just the opposite.Instead of sending my little white spherical friends off into the wild blue yonder, we talked.We talked about his philosophy and mine, about what kind of game I wanted to play, and about Mechanics of the swing.What he was doing was setting me up to succeed and what I understand now is that the more time we spent on that set-up process the more likely the instruction would have a long term impact on my game.
Parenting has many different stages.You don’t parent a kindergartener the same way you do a junior in high school.But… Read the rest of this entry »
The days are getting shorter, the mornings are darker, and with school back in full swing summer is a fleeting memory dipping below the horizon.
As your child gets settled into the school year and starts to find his or her groove, I want to remind you as parents that being in the bottom percentage of the class is not really all that bad. After a while the teacher will begin to lower the expectations they place on your child until it nearly hits bottom. In addition, the nagging will become less and less, the calls home will stop, all building up to your child’s school experience being one of bliss and tranquility with no responsibility, expectations, or grief.
I love all kinds of different sports and athletic competitions. Having competed myself in several different arenas, I have a great appreciation of what athletes who compete on a high level put themselves through both mentally and physically. And there are few events that I like more to see this displayed than the Olympics.
I know that there are a lot of skeptics out there that really have a tendency to focus on the controversies of the Olympics that surround any world-class sport. However, in my mind, it is as close to pure competition that we will find today at that level.
One of the things that I love about the Olympics is that for 99% of the athletes it is humbling to be there and they are so proud to represent something bigger then themselves. Most of them toil at their respective sports in virtual obscurity for years.Read the rest of this entry »
This has been on my to-do list for quite some time, and on July 15th I was able to pull it off and summit Mt. Whitney. It didn’t work out for others to go with me so, not wanting to miss an opportunity, I decided to go the 22 mile round trip trek to 14,497 feet alone (sort of, believe me there were plenty of people on the trail).
This last week I had the incredible experience to climb to the summit of Mt. Whitney, 14,497.61 feet, or 4,418.87 meters for my euro and aussie friends, the highest peak in the lower continental United States, the second highest in the U.S. only behind Denali in Alaska, and you know what I found? I found two fathers with their teenage children, well, Kate just turned twenty, and I wanted to glean from the wisdom of the kids about what made their dad so great. Listen to the two videos and see what they had to say.
Please excuse the huffing and puffing on my part and a couple of mixed up words, after all, I was breathing less than half the oxygen that I am accustom to (I thought it was a good excuse).
So the big question of the above video is, ‘Do we blame the video game?’
My first answer is that I would find it hard to go back to the creators of the video game and tell them that they will be held liable for ‘poisoning the minds of our youth.’ Mainly because we as a society have allowed the graphic violence and total disregard for authority and other individuals that these games exploit to seep into our homes and lives. The developers have tapped into a vein that intrigues our imaginations and people are out there paying big bucks for the games as they fly off the shelves.
My second answer is that everything that we are exposed to influences us, our decisions and ultimately our actions. Good or Bad.
Mark Todhunter, M.A. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Professional Life Coach, Conference
and Seminar speaker, and columnist and has
worked with couples, families and children for
the past 23 years.
Mark Todhunter, M.A. is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Professional Life Coach, Conference
and Seminar speaker, and columnist and has
worked with couples, families and children for
the past 23 years.